Friday, February 27, 2009

Can you hear the crickets chirping...

When I awoke this afternoon...
after a late night of dancin' around listening to
The G Spot Boyz do The Skanky Leg,
it became very clear that my stimulus check probably wasn't gonna arrive in time 
to hit the late Pick Four at The Big A...
So, the best laid plans as they say...

But I have great expectations for Saturday at Santa Anita.
The Pamplemousse running in the 9th...headed to The Derby I say.
Put him with Lucky JH in the 8th and you got a nifty Double
that will buy for all the Olde English you can handle.

Notonthesamepage running at Gulfstream tomorrow too,
in the 9th...another story I'll finish later...

Gotta get back to The Boyz...almost got that dance down...

Trust me, put it on The Pamplemousse,
He's not like the others.

See yah at post time...I hope...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Haulin' Oats...

Lounging here in my hot tub in Vermont, sipping on
a Dark & Stormy, listening to Soul Ja Boy and reading The Form...

Oskar Hval in the 7th tomorrow at The Big A...
If Blah Blah Blah in the 6th comes through, I got the
late Pick 4.

I'd love to wire the Pick 6 but as Judge Haller said to
Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinnie,
"Mr. Gambini, that was a lucid, intelligent, well thought out

I got that weird, inner track, winter feeling...

But you can trust me with the Oskar Hval thing...
Really, I'm not like the others...

PS...use a dark rum for the Stormy...killer bee...

See yah at post time,

Friday, February 20, 2009

Anyone seen A-Rod's Cousin...?

OK... OK...I only got two things right yesterday.
The track was "good" and Captivating Cathy in the 3rd.
It was just one of those days...but old Napkins almost did it in the 3rd
race at 23-1...I had my new Doc Martins all picked out.

Well I'll get back to you before Sunday, got a mortal lock in the 9th
at 30-1...can't miss...

You can trust me,
I'm not like the others...

See yah at post time,

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Mad Monkey Love...

Well, I just got the word out of Ozone Park
that Aqueduct is labeled "good" today...
And that ain't good, if you know what I mean.

Now I suppose it's time to invoke
Ockham's Razor or if that fails, Fermat's Last Theoreum
in order to decipher my mortal lock, Pick 4.

No problemo...I still got Napkins in the 2nd, Cleverly Regal in the 5th
and Next Day in the 9th. Even the Democrats are gonna love this.
Sharing the wealth.

Trust me,
I'm not like the others...

See ya at post time,

Monday, February 16, 2009

So two jockeys walk into The Carnegie Deli...

Yah...only thing moving in NY right now is the Pastrami on Rye
at The Carnegie but that's all changing soon.
On Thursday to be exact...
Check this out...
3rd...Captivating Cathy
4th...Pocket Cowboys
5th...Ommadon's Storm
7th...Kiss & Fly
8th...Gold and Roses
9th...Next Day got the early Pick Four, the late Pick Four and you
can throw in The Pick Six for good measure.

This is Real Money I swear.
As my old friend Smokey Johnny Sutton always says,
Let a smile be your umbrella but always play the speed on the rail.

Trust me,
I'm not like the others.

See yah at post time,

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Washington at Valley Forge...

"Freezing cold but Uncle George would strum
bo-doe-de-o, bo-doe-de o-doe...
On his ukulele, daily he would strum, beedle-um-bum,
dancin', prancin', then he'd holler, Red Hot Momma"...

Yah, Red Hot Baby in the 6th, trained by J Terranova...oh, how history repeats it's self
at The Big A... $ was only last Wednesday in the 6th, J Terranova lit up
the board with Daily Star  for $59.50...

Johnny A...hope your a history buff...

Dick Dutrow has a stealth missile going in the 7th tomorrow At Aqueduct
at 15-1...gonna steal it I say.

You can trust me,
I'm not like the others...

See yah at post time,

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Something is wrong with my nuts...

When I woke up yesterday afternoon I swear I almost choked
to death from the dust...chalk dust that is, hovering over Aqueduct.
My gawd...a friggin Pick 6 that paid $162?
Has hell frozen over on the Inner Dirt or did everybody get caught
out on that ice floe?

I never thought I'd pine away for the return of racing on the turf...
Speaking of a collect call last night from the Backstretch Cafe
at The Fairgrounds...Smokey Johnny Sutton...oh, boy, 
I thought, this oughta be good...Smokey Johnny was half in the bag on something.
Crying about how he missed the Magna Five yesterday because he couldn't
afford to play the spread at Gulfstream and ended up losing $25,000
when his pick came in 2nd...he then proceeded to ramble on about packing his
tack and hitting the main at Aqueduct before all the shippers started arriving from
Florida...he started into his affiliation with the International Norwegian 
Lesbian Field Hockey Team and that's when I told him my cell needed
a charge and I hung up.

I've always been known as kind, caring and compassionate but the nuts lately...
And that reminds me, Toonie called right after Johnny, bragging how she
cold picked Cowboy Cal at Santa Anita for $8.60 and Honest Man for $6 at
the Fairgrounds...who says a crazy squirrel can't find a legume?

I wonder if A-Rod knows Richard Dutrow??? Hmmmm, makes one wonder... a hot item at Philly this aft...
Butters, Richard's brother's horse...8-1...workin' out like a speed machine...
Can't me, I'm not like the others.

See yah at post time,

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Slow women

So many of you have called to my attention that
I was 0-4 yesterday at the Big A.
I got into some bad nuts.

Milkshakers, Whistle Biscuits, High Performance 
Mexican Jumping Donuts, Lasix, Bute & HGH...something is going
on with the horses.
Now I'm writing checks my ass can't cash...I think not.

A mere slip of the old handicapping pencil...nothing more...
I know my Levine's and Dutrows...

Tough Negotiations in the 5th and don't be surprised if
Haynesfield loses The Whirlaway in the 8th...Zooger is cranked.

Hey come' can trust me,
I'm not like the others.

See yah at post time,

Thursday, February 5, 2009


Yah, Ifonlyjohnny, trained by Bruce Brown at The Big A shipped
down to Philly for Monday's 4th race...$12.00 completing a very 
nice $76 double.

If only Johnny A. had paid attention...
But apparently he stumbled into something yesterday in the 6th at
Aqueduct...Daily Star lit up the board for $59.50.

If only Johnny would read the Form tomorrow because
Johnny Terravova, trainer of Daily Star has a hot one in the 5th at A.
Stratton's Girl, first timer at 10-1 and it's really lookin' ready to roll.

Watch out for Pee Wee's Peak in the 4th at Aqueduct tomorrow.
Big Gavel in the 7th, Giant Moon in the 8th and topped off
with D.Conway's Louise The Tease in the 9th.

Believe can trust me,
I'm not like the others.
See yah at post time,

Monday, February 2, 2009

Change You Can Believe In...

I AM THE MAN. I problemo.
What A Pear...same story...
When you got got it.

Just got off the phone with The IRS...small matter about my
unpaid taxes on winning tickets...once I explained to them that I just forgot
and that I probably had made a mistake, they said..."Well OK then"...

Got a hot one today in Philly...with odds I can't even print...
Well see...I even had to get into my Pick 3 money from yesterday
because this horse is gonna be smokin' in the lane, as they say.

Yesterday while I was watching the wrong team barely squeak
out a win, Claire brought me several pounds of peanuts...
I get it Claire, I get it...

Well, gotta go pick out a live longshot in Philadelphia tomorrow.
Get back to you on that.
You can trust Me...
I'm not like the others.

See yah at post time,

Sunday, February 1, 2009

If CC Lopez sees his shadow today...

There will still be six more weeks of winter and he'll still be short.

CC hit the board 4 times yesterday at Aqueduct, I'm getting tired.

Majhood running today at The Big A...3 yr old colt, $600,00,
lost his only race by 17 1/4 problemo.

So it's Majhood in the 6th...
Bitabaz in the 7th...
What A Pear in the 8th...
Sinners and Saints in the 9th.
A mortal LOCK late Pick4.

I can see the sauce dripping off my Hot & Spicy Buffalo Wings
all over my winning tickets now.

Yup, Claire's Kitchen will be smokin'...Cards up by 10.

See ya at post time,