Sunday, July 31, 2011

Hey...I was abducted

Hey...I was abducted...
wasn't I?

Hey, weirdo...
I got one for ya in the 7th tomorrow at Saratoga.
Friend of mine, Tim Snyder, his beautiful trainer wife, Lisa, passed away a few yrs ago from cancer...way too early.

He used to hang out at a strip joint in Florida called The Booby Trap.
Bought a horse on the come at Finger Lakes for $4500.
Named it Lisa's Booby Trap.

She's blind in her left eye and has a clubbed right hoof.
I'm putting all my Stimulus Money on this one.

Hey, trust me, I'm not like the others...
See yah on the rail,
I've Been Abducted!

I was soundly passed out on my luxurious futon last night in upstate New York
when I was awoken by space aliens.

I know... it sounds straight out of Art Bell, but it's true. They questioned me
at length, probed me...whoa...and then demanded I take them to my leader.

Well, you can see where this is going...

We all had a good laugh over that and then they left, taking my last
bottle of Woodford Reserve.

Hey, see yah on the rail...
Man, that probing thing...ah, never mind...


Thursday, July 28, 2011

What comes around, goes around...
Especially at 5 1/2 furlongs on the turf.

Hey , peckerhead, me and Smokey Johnny Sutton put the last of our meager stimulus money
on a long shot in the 10th today at Saratoga. Moonstruck Nemi...see my Dr is named...
ah, anyway, long story short, paid $30.00 to win. We split the exacta, the double and the late Pick 3...

$400 a piece...

Kent Desormeaux, the jockey, looked like Jack Kevorkian out there till they hit the top of the stretch and then finally just let her go.

Heading out to dinner with Baby Hatties Chicken tonight!
Lillan's, maybe but whatever, when I take a gal to dinner I always wear an ascot
and I ALWAYS carry the tray!

By the way, to hell with August 2nd for the debt crisis...August 4th is the date we all gotta remember...lookin' out for ya there big guy.

See yah tomorrow...may not get up tomorrow but then again, I got a sure thing in the 4th.

Trust me, I'm not like the others,
See you on the rail,

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

That's how I roll...

Laying here on this luxurious futon in upstate NY, watching the Teletubbies Marathon
& drinking a bottle of Strawberry-Pomegranate Sno-Cone Syrup got me to thinking...

I need more revenue. I think rich yacht owners, private jet leasers and other people that already have a ton of dough should help me out!
C'mon, it's called "shared sacrifice" and it's high time we all ripped off that bandaid,
ate our peas and bailed out old Spanky.
Just put a few bucks in an envelope and send to:

The Grey Gelding Restaurant - Saratoga Racetrack
attn: Tommy the bartender.

Hey, I learned from a pro, it's the American Way...
and besides, I drive a battery
powered beer cooler, all the while fighting global warming
and reducing that old carbon footprint for all of us.

Trust me, I'm not like the others.
See ya on the rail,

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Boys Are Back In Town...
and we ain't talkin' Thin Lizzie.

Saratoga Racetrack opens on Friday and me and Smokey Johnny Sutton got a place in town.
Now that in it's-self is worth celebrating...they never called the references,
Well, Opening Day at The Spa might be tap-dancing in a minefield but with
the temps in the upper 90's
and The Motley Crue in town, anything is possible.
I got a sure thing in the kidding..."The Noz"...trained by Rick Violette...
been waiting for this!
I still got some Stimulus Money, I may need a new Debt Ceiling but hey, who don't?
They say if you don't know where you're going, any road will get ya there...
but one road for sure...
Hattie's Chicken Shack, Fried Chicken Sandwich and Cranberry Coleslaw...whoa...
kick that with a couple of Tsingtao beers and a Lipitor and you got an afternoon in upstate NY.
Remember, bet speed on the inside unless it's a dead rail, in that case
come join me and Johnny at Hattie's...

You can trust me, I'm not like the others.
See ya on the rail,

Sunday, August 9, 2009

She said she was 18...

She looked 25 but I neglected to ask if she was indeed married to a narcotics officer in the Rensselaer Police Department...
So for all of my many fans out there in Belmont and Saratoga...well, I been kinda busy.

Gonna get my mugshot on Facebook...twitter that in Rensselaer.

Anyway, I thought my ship had finally arrived on Friday...hit an exacta
with a 1st time starting 2 yr old...12 to 1...but hey, Saratoga likes to tease you before lowering the hammer...the only ship I saw yesterday was hardship.

Not to worry namesake, yup, little Spanky, is running in the 8th Monday at The Spa...
6-1 morning line but I'm predicting probably more like 15-1 at post time...
He's well hidden and Chad Brown has got him ready to roll.
Put him over the 4, 9 and 10 and sit back and wait for the cash to roll in.

Hey, you can still believe me, I'm not like the others...
regardless of what they are saying in about an unruly mob...whew.

See ya at post time,

Friday, June 5, 2009

...c''s only a mile and a half...

The Belmont may have gone to the birds...

With Mine That Bird deemed the mortal lock in The Belmont, it
makes one wonder...what would Nick Zito do...
Well, I'm not sold on Nick's 2 horses, Miner's Escape and Brave Victory
but then again... I never saw D'Tara coming last year either?

So, it a fit of illogical foresight I've settled on Summer Bird to take the whole
thing at 12 to 1...yup...Summer Bird, Mine That Bird and Flying Private
rounding out a very nice trifecta...

Hey, I've been wrong a couple of times on this but not now...
I'll be holding court tomorrow night at Carnegie's Deli...
trust me, I really am not like the others...

See ya at post time...