Monday, March 30, 2009

I never tapped that Maple tree your honor...

I know it's been a while...had to send my retention bonus back
and then got knocked out of the Florida Derby by Quality Road.

I was crying in my Grey Goose on Saturday night... getting ready to
celebrate Earth Hour. Around 8pm I turned off my Christmas Tree
and hit the deck in my Snuggie. It sure was dark...except for that
group of peasants with torches standing in the yard.
It was that same group that used to stand on Main St on Saturday afternoon
with all the Peace signs...they never show up there anymore so
I guess we won?
Anyway, they hadn't heard I sent the bonus back and they were
pretty upset. So was I....A fool could have picked Quality Road in Florida...
heck, even Toonie picked it...go figure...

To John The Believer...don't worry, Aqueduct is going back to 
the main track on Wednesday and I'll try and give you a few choice selections
in case the usual happens...

Remember it's not the bullet with your name on it ya gotta be concerned with...
it's that danged old one that says "to whom it may concern"...

Trust me...I'm not like the others...
See yah at post time,

Monday, March 16, 2009

Breakin' Bad...and other excuses...

Well Pappa Clem got his clock cleaned by Friesan Fire on
Saturday in the Losuisana Derby...7 and 1/2 lengths to be exact.
Now I know why Papa Clem is currently 60-1 in the
Kentucky Derby Futures Pool...but I still got a feeling...and hey,
it was still a pretty easy $40 exacta.

I got Lance Mackey in The Iditarod but have a strong feeling
I'll have to get to Anchorage to collect?

Just in from John The Believer...
The word is out in the upstate NY OTB's that if you simply bet
through the machines, chances are there will be a starting balance
of $80 just to get you acclimated and feeling comfy...
thanks John sure beats losing my own money...

Just to show you I still got the edge...
Flame Trowin Suzi in the 2nd race Wednesday at Aqueduct...
this girl has been cranked by Contessa...12-1...
and if you start with that $80 cushion in the betting machine,
whoa...hello Rao's...

Trust me, you know I'm not like the others...

See ya at post time,

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

That danged old Higgs...

Well it was snowing yesterday and they cancelled Philadelphia Park.
I sat around all afternoon in my freshly laundered Snuggie sipping
a little Calvados. I started wondering about that Large Hadron Collider
at Cern...the reason I bring this up was because I was purusing one of my 
old copies of Physics World, Volume 6, #9 to be exact. That's the issue where a
top English physicists challenged 5 other physicists to explain on one page;
What is The Higgs Boson and Why do we need to find it?
Well as soon as The Collider gets back to working maybe they'll find that
little ephemeral devil?
But it leads one to wonder...if they are still looking for The Higgs Boson,
why should I hesitate to handicap the Pick Six at Aqueduct tomorrow???

Boy, what a conundrum...or maybe it was the Calvados...but I think
I got a handle on it...and by the way...

Juke Bocks Hero in the 7th tomorrow at The Big A...

MAJHOOD in the 8th at The Big A on Friday...can't miss...
Trust me...I'm not like the others...
I Always wear a tie to an arraignment...

See yah at post time,

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Whac-A-Mole with Nancy Pelosi

If you saw the way Nan Pelosi was jumping up and down during the
latest Obama oratory you can imagine what I was doing yesterday afternoon
watching the 9th race at Santa Anita! Somebody should'a hit me with a mallet.
The Pamplemousse, with Alex Solis riding, hit the far turn and and
went into 5th gear. Six lengths in front of everything and Solis 
never touched his whip.

Spilled my Mojito all over my new blue Snuggie!

If The Pamplemousse doesn't go to The Derby, I'm hookin' up with Octomom I swear!

Akebono in the 5th today at's come to Jesus Time.

Gotta go look for my ShamWow...that Mojito really made a mess.

Remember, you can trust me,
I'm not like the others...

See yah at post time,