Sunday, July 31, 2011

Hey...I was abducted

Hey...I was abducted...
wasn't I?

Hey, weirdo...
I got one for ya in the 7th tomorrow at Saratoga.
Friend of mine, Tim Snyder, his beautiful trainer wife, Lisa, passed away a few yrs ago from cancer...way too early.

He used to hang out at a strip joint in Florida called The Booby Trap.
Bought a horse on the come at Finger Lakes for $4500.
Named it Lisa's Booby Trap.

She's blind in her left eye and has a clubbed right hoof.
I'm putting all my Stimulus Money on this one.

Hey, trust me, I'm not like the others...
See yah on the rail,
I've Been Abducted!

I was soundly passed out on my luxurious futon last night in upstate New York
when I was awoken by space aliens.

I know... it sounds straight out of Art Bell, but it's true. They questioned me
at length, probed me...whoa...and then demanded I take them to my leader.

Well, you can see where this is going...

We all had a good laugh over that and then they left, taking my last
bottle of Woodford Reserve.

Hey, see yah on the rail...
Man, that probing thing...ah, never mind...


Thursday, July 28, 2011

What comes around, goes around...
Especially at 5 1/2 furlongs on the turf.

Hey , peckerhead, me and Smokey Johnny Sutton put the last of our meager stimulus money
on a long shot in the 10th today at Saratoga. Moonstruck Nemi...see my Dr is named...
ah, anyway, long story short, paid $30.00 to win. We split the exacta, the double and the late Pick 3...

$400 a piece...

Kent Desormeaux, the jockey, looked like Jack Kevorkian out there till they hit the top of the stretch and then finally just let her go.

Heading out to dinner with Baby Hatties Chicken tonight!
Lillan's, maybe but whatever, when I take a gal to dinner I always wear an ascot
and I ALWAYS carry the tray!

By the way, to hell with August 2nd for the debt crisis...August 4th is the date we all gotta remember...lookin' out for ya there big guy.

See yah tomorrow...may not get up tomorrow but then again, I got a sure thing in the 4th.

Trust me, I'm not like the others,
See you on the rail,

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

That's how I roll...

Laying here on this luxurious futon in upstate NY, watching the Teletubbies Marathon
& drinking a bottle of Strawberry-Pomegranate Sno-Cone Syrup got me to thinking...

I need more revenue. I think rich yacht owners, private jet leasers and other people that already have a ton of dough should help me out!
C'mon, it's called "shared sacrifice" and it's high time we all ripped off that bandaid,
ate our peas and bailed out old Spanky.
Just put a few bucks in an envelope and send to:

The Grey Gelding Restaurant - Saratoga Racetrack
attn: Tommy the bartender.

Hey, I learned from a pro, it's the American Way...
and besides, I drive a battery
powered beer cooler, all the while fighting global warming
and reducing that old carbon footprint for all of us.

Trust me, I'm not like the others.
See ya on the rail,

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Boys Are Back In Town...
and we ain't talkin' Thin Lizzie.

Saratoga Racetrack opens on Friday and me and Smokey Johnny Sutton got a place in town.
Now that in it's-self is worth celebrating...they never called the references,
Well, Opening Day at The Spa might be tap-dancing in a minefield but with
the temps in the upper 90's
and The Motley Crue in town, anything is possible.
I got a sure thing in the kidding..."The Noz"...trained by Rick Violette...
been waiting for this!
I still got some Stimulus Money, I may need a new Debt Ceiling but hey, who don't?
They say if you don't know where you're going, any road will get ya there...
but one road for sure...
Hattie's Chicken Shack, Fried Chicken Sandwich and Cranberry Coleslaw...whoa...
kick that with a couple of Tsingtao beers and a Lipitor and you got an afternoon in upstate NY.
Remember, bet speed on the inside unless it's a dead rail, in that case
come join me and Johnny at Hattie's...

You can trust me, I'm not like the others.
See ya on the rail,