I've Been Abducted!

I was soundly passed out on my luxurious futon last night in upstate New York
when I was awoken by space aliens.

I know... it sounds straight out of Art Bell, but it's true. They questioned me
at length, probed me...whoa...and then demanded I take them to my leader.

Well, you can see where this is going...

We all had a good laugh over that and then they left, taking my last
bottle of Woodford Reserve.

Hey, see yah on the rail...
Man, that probing thing...ah, never mind...

Spanky