Hot Momma, Cool Papa and a bad case of The Swine...

Whoa...talkin' about Hot Mommas...
Rachel Alexandra wins The Oaks by 20 lengths and and I swear the other 6 horses are still
running 5 minutes after it's all over...including poor old Tweeter...sorry there T, can't
hit 'em all...dead last.
Cool Papas...that's correct amundo...Pap Clem...still gonna win The Derby.
Oh there are pretenders to the throne but when they hit the wire, Papa is gonna be there.
How do I know...

Well as Colbie Caillat says,
"It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose"...
or is that just another symptom of the olde Swine Flu...?

Whatever...I haven't kissed a pig in weeks...
And I haven't picked one in The Derby either...

Gotta wash my Snuggie, make a Mint Julep, put on my mask and get ready to collect my dough.

I'd bet a pair of Michelle's sneakers on it.
Papa Clem...you can trust me,
I'm not like the others...

See ya at post time,
Spanky

Got my mind on my money and my money on my mind...

Sheesh...I hate to brag...

That being said...Oh, did I have Papa Clem wired in The Arkansaw Derby

on Saturaday afternoon or what? I've been playing that horse since 4 days after

Christmas at Santa Anita and he's been nothing but money!

Now he's going to The Derby and I have him in the Futures Pool at 60-1...

I can almost smell my Steak & Clam Linguine at Rao's now...

I don't think he'd of had a shot with Pamplemousse in the race but that ship has sailed...

All of Gulfstream Park is descending on NY this month...gonna be a long Spring on the

grass but that's ok...Loquacious Lover and Master of Disaster are going at it today

in Philly...it's not like I need the money but hey, 20-1 ain't bad in a Pick 3.

I think I got it...trust me, I'm not like the others...

Too bad John The Believer went back to golf...we sure do miss his money

in the betting pools at Big A...

See yah at post time,

Spanky

Soy...un perdedor...

I'm a loser baby...so why don't you kill me....

now those are some lyrics!

And to think it all started with The Pamplemousse getting

scratched out of The Santa Anita Derby on Saturday...

and now out of the Kentucky Derby.

Believe me, The Pioneer of The Nile NEVER would have

won that race. My Derby Futures tickets, now, no more than bookmarks.

So yesterday I got Single Scoop in  the 5th at Philly...I got

Express Lane in the 7th and Attack Jack deadlocked in the 6th.

No problemo, right...a $650 Pick 3 for the taking...

Except for the friggin fact The New York Racing Association

closes all NY OTB's for Palm Sunday and nobody TELLS ME!

What about Racing For Jesus...hard to take...who knew

The NRA got religion..?

Ah...back to Philly in the rain today...

Remember...a friend will help you move,

a good friend will help you move a body.

See ya at post time,

Spanky...a very broken-hearted Spanky at that.

I never tapped that Maple tree your honor...

I know it's been a while...had to send my retention bonus back

and then got knocked out of the Florida Derby by Quality Road.

I was crying in my Grey Goose on Saturday night... getting ready to

celebrate Earth Hour. Around 8pm I turned off my Christmas Tree

and hit the deck in my Snuggie. It sure was dark...except for that

group of peasants with torches standing in the yard.

It was that same group that used to stand on Main St on Saturday afternoon

with all the Peace signs...they never show up there anymore so

I guess we won?

Anyway, they hadn't heard I sent the bonus back and they were

pretty upset. So was I....A fool could have picked Quality Road in Florida...

heck, even Toonie picked it...go figure...

To John The Believer...don't worry, Aqueduct is going back to 

the main track on Wednesday and I'll try and give you a few choice selections

in case the usual happens...

Remember it's not the bullet with your name on it ya gotta be concerned with...

it's that danged old one that says "to whom it may concern"...

Trust me...I'm not like the others...

See yah at post time,

Spanky

Breakin' Bad...and other excuses...

Well Pappa Clem got his clock cleaned by Friesan Fire on

Saturday in the Losuisana Derby...7 and 1/2 lengths to be exact.

Now I know why Papa Clem is currently 60-1 in the

Kentucky Derby Futures Pool...but I still got a feeling...and hey,

it was still a pretty easy $40 exacta.

I got Lance Mackey in The Iditarod but have a strong feeling

I'll have to get to Anchorage to collect?

Just in from John The Believer...

The word is out in the upstate NY OTB's that if you simply bet

through the machines, chances are there will be a starting balance

of $80 just to get you acclimated and feeling comfy...

thanks John Boy...it sure beats losing my own money...

Just to show you I still got the edge...

Flame Trowin Suzi in the 2nd race Wednesday at Aqueduct...

this girl has been cranked by Contessa...12-1...

and if you start with that $80 cushion in the betting machine,

whoa...hello Rao's...

Trust me, you know I'm not like the others...

See ya at post time,

Spanky

That danged old Higgs...

Well it was snowing yesterday and they cancelled Philadelphia Park.

I sat around all afternoon in my freshly laundered Snuggie sipping

a little Calvados. I started wondering about that Large Hadron Collider

at Cern...the reason I bring this up was because I was purusing one of my 

old copies of Physics World, Volume 6, #9 to be exact. That's the issue where a

top English physicists challenged 5 other physicists to explain on one page;

What is The Higgs Boson and Why do we need to find it?

Well as soon as The Collider gets back to working maybe they'll find that

little ephemeral devil?

But it leads one to wonder...if they are still looking for The Higgs Boson,

why should I hesitate to handicap the Pick Six at Aqueduct tomorrow???

Boy, what a conundrum...or maybe it was the Calvados...but I think

I got a handle on it...and by the way...

Juke Bocks Hero in the 7th tomorrow at The Big A...

MAJHOOD in the 8th at The Big A on Friday...can't miss...

Trust me...I'm not like the others...

I Always wear a tie to an arraignment...

See yah at post time,

Spanky

Whac-A-Mole with Nancy Pelosi

If you saw the way Nan Pelosi was jumping up and down during the

latest Obama oratory you can imagine what I was doing yesterday afternoon

watching the 9th race at Santa Anita! Somebody should'a hit me with a mallet.

The Pamplemousse, with Alex Solis riding, hit the far turn and and

went into 5th gear. Six lengths in front of everything and Solis 

never touched his whip.

Spilled my Mojito all over my new blue Snuggie!

If The Pamplemousse doesn't go to The Derby, I'm hookin' up with Octomom I swear!

Akebono in the 5th today at Aqueduct...it's come to Jesus Time.

Gotta go look for my ShamWow...that Mojito really made a mess.

Remember, you can trust me,

I'm not like the others...

See yah at post time,

Spanky